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hiii i wrote an entire blog post and then it didn't saveeeeee.

i just spent a very long time reediting this website to get rid of the code blocks because there is no way i'm writing all that and losing it again. it's still cute though thank god. although the font is still wrong in the code block on the home page, i might just have to live with that idk.

anyway~ i was telling you how i was in the library writing a blog post and how sad i was about my library being closed until mid summer :( luckily there is another library that is close to where i live so i can go there when i need a library fix. it's very small but the vibes didn't seem too bad. i wanted to have a closer look at what they had in the fiction section but there was a tutoring session going on there at the time and i didn't want to get in the way or be a distraction. it turns out another young person came to the same table to be tutored by another adult at the same time as the previous one. the woman who was sat opposite me was burping profusely and then a baby started screaming and i thought then was a good time to leave.

they have this open library thing where you can go in even when the library is unstaffed which is cool. so you don't have to wait for it to be officially open to use it! i'm definitely going to go back at some point. maybe not on a monday.

because the other library is closed for such a long time, you don't have to return your books until they reopen! so naturally i now have 10 books on loan hehe. they are as follows (i'm going to forget some titles and authors soz): the roots of yoga by nikita desai, yoga life by brett larkin, witch please, a book on fascial yoga, homebodies by tembe denton hurst (just dnf that one :/), the circle by dave eggers, a book by andre aciman, a book by sayaka murata, a book about qigong and meditation for the real world. i'm reading about five of these at once currently lol.

i'm really loving learning about yoga and meditation and reading books on these practices. i'm planning on learning as much as i can about the philosophy of yoga and incorporating it into my life. i understand that it's not just an exercise but a way of life with a deep, rich history, so i want my practice to be an authentic one. i'm learning so much already! and unlearning a few things too, for example i'm no longer saying namaste after my practice as it is a sacred phrase that i don't feel comfortable saying and doesn't make much sense to end my practices with anymore now that i know what it means (i offer my respect to you / the divine in me acknowledges the divine in you). you're also supposed to say it while doing the anjali mudra (pressing palms together at the heart) which i haven't been doing. i have a lot to learn!

also i'm enjoying blogging here instead of substack to be honest. although i've taken a few weeks off, i've started drafting a post for this sunday and it's proving a little difficult. whereas here i feel like i'm free to say whatever however i want and it's very freeing. i'm about to post like five pictures at once on my homepage as well. but writing for substack feels like i need to become a specific person and write a specific way because the audience is so big. it's a little harder than i thought to come back. i don't even know what to do with that space anymore to be honest. i really like updating this here with any little thing, and obvs i've made it so cute here. it's more quiet too, less expectation. i'm going to have to do a bit more thinking about my substack it seems?? still would like to get a little joys and little sorrows out though i do genuinely enjoy those posts.

okayy i'm gonna go, hope you're having a good dayy <333

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