working retail, secret substack, testing different book genres (110526)

hiiii (started writing this on 1105)

how long do you think it will take before i become completely comfortable with working retail and not be surprised that i don't hate it? have i really just had that many bad experiences? because it's just not computing that retail and enjoyment can coexist in the same sentence. like, i'm walking so much in my job and losing weight, i'm organising rails and making things look neat which scratches an itch in the back of my head, the people are actually nice and friendly to talk to. i know there's about a be a mass exodus soon because of uni students so maybe things might be a little different then, i might be given more shifts and stuff but it's more money at the end of the day. i'm just so confused that things are going well there. let me just enjoy it while i can. i don't want something bad to happen and then be like see i knew it! you know.

anyway i didn't post on substack yesterday. i did have an idea but i thought i was going to save it for my other secret substack hehe. i made another one just to post my short stories because sharing fiction feels soooo much more intimate than sharing my actual thoughts through personal essays for some reason? everything is hidden behind a thin veil of metaphor which feels more exposing than a personal essay where i just explicitly share my thoughts. odd.

i think i kind of wanted to start substack all over again. i don't know why but it doesn't feel the same anymore. but starting over on substack in 2026 is completely different than it was in 2023(?) when i started my other one. maybe i should just stick to short stories on this other account. i wanted to write about all the books i've taken out at the library and talk about them all. i thought it would be cute for the other account to be books and my stories but actually, i think i prefer it just being stories. i will post this one for sunday. it was so nice not to be stressed at the end of the week about posting! sundays are usually busy because of that but yesterday was so chill and it was exactly what i needed because work really tired me out this week. listening to my body has improved my life tenfold.

(1305)

oops i never came back to this. i had a long shift at work and it was soooo boring my god. it was a ghost town. but interesting because i got to speaking to one of the gals and she was telling me a lot of staff drama. my eyes have been opened. this is not some perfect job where everyone is really kind :'(. i just need to keep to myself and try to not step out of line, not that i would anyway lol. anyway that long shift was tiring and i had a busy morning before then and i didn't sleep well last night, ugh. but i just did some yoga and i feel really good. i think yoga, even though it's more of a spiritual practice for me now, will be my only "workout" other than walking. i do miss growwithjo workouts and i always try to say i'll do at least one in the week but never get round to it. i didn't even do any yoga for the whole of last week. i need to get back to making it more of a priority again. it's really good for me.

anyway, i hope whoever is reading this is having a good week. not too much to report today but i just felt like writing a blog post anyway. i should probably get started on my substack about my library books.

ooh actually one more thing, i went to wymondham the other day while c was getting a haircut and i went to probably its only bookshop around bc small town, and it was soooo lovely! i much prefer this one than the main indie one in norwich :/ i spent a good 20 mins just in one corner and it's not even that big! they have a good selection in there for sure, and the decor is so pretty. i ended up buying a hardback which i never do unless i know 100% i'm gonna like it because a) they're expensive and b) i don't like the physical experience of a hardback but the cover was too nice and it had designs on the edge too i couldn't not. it's annie knows everything by rachel wood. it's signed and everything and i've never even heard of this book. i read the first chapter in the store and i was hooked and i was about to return a t-shirt i bought that was slightly more than the book, AND i wanted to get something from this v cute bookshop so i said wth and got it. the cashier was v nice too. i want to go back! i want to run my own bookshop just like it :'(.

i continued reading the other day at home and the romance element is a little... cringe. i just don't think i can vibe with romances. and i don't even think this book is a romance. i just can't get past the writing styles of most of those books. i prefer books where the writing takes precedence or at least a huge chunk of it. books where the plot if the focal point and literary devices are an afterthought just don't grab me, i'm too distracted by the colloquial language. it's like i'm reading a really long blog post (lol hi) but at the start of this year, i did say to myself that i wanted to read more things that are a little more lighthearted. it's not every day the memory police by yokok ogawa or the book of goose by yiyun li or the days of abandonment by elena ferrante. these women know how to write but they take a lot of energy from me. i absolutely devoured the circle by david eggers and the writing was a solid 6/10. i need more like that. so i thought annie knows everything could be the same but the main character is a little cringe around this love interest. it just doesn't read like real people. is it supposed to?

right i've been rambling for long enough but also, it's my blog who cares :)

thanks for reading okay byeeee

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