030126

happy! new! year!

it's snowing right now! i'm currently sat at my desk trying to finish up tomorrow's substack post and also organise my life. i've just redone my vision board because i realised i left out probably the most important thing i want to acheive this year?? writing fiction! i think this is the year i'm going to truly try and be the writer i've always wanted to be. at least try. i don't think i'll go as far as hoping to be published this year, especially since i'm still actually writing a short story at the moment, but i'm definitely going to try. i want to get comfortable with calling myself a writer of <b>stories</b> and one day, books.

also had a crazy revelation while i was writing for substack just now. my short story is about a woman who slowly becomes invisible when she doesn't use her journal to write all the stories that fill her mind. and then i realised that this story is literally me. i, too, have felt incomplete and know i will continue to do so without writing the stories i've always wanted to tell. i genuinely had no idea i was basically writing about my own life while i was creating this story! in fact, i was so convinced that this was the first time one of my attempts at writing fiction didn't just turn into a retelling of my life! and because it has ended up having some magical realism elements, it made me think that this definitely wasn't about me. i was very wrong :)

i'm so blown away by this realisation. it's making me think of this podcast episode i was listening to about how ideas themselves are conscious and choose someone to help execute them. this idea feels so right and aligned with me and now i want to honour it and continue writing this story until the end. no excuses!

‿︵‿︵୨˚̣̣̣͙୧ - - ୨˚̣̣̣͙୧‿︵‿︵